Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, March 10, 2012

孫運璿


台灣政壇知名行政院長孫運璿,生前曾給兒子寫過一封信,這封信最近才流傳出來,並很快的流傳於各大網站,很多父親看後感觸很深,其實這信適合所有人看!

[下輩子,無論愛與不愛,都不會再見]----孫運璿送給兒子的備忘錄

我兒:寫這備忘錄給你,基於三個原則:

(一)人生福禍無常,誰也不知可以活多久,有些事情還是早一點說好。

(二)我是你的父親,我不跟你說,沒有人會跟你說這些事?

(三)這備忘錄記載的,都是我經過慘痛失敗得來的體驗,可以為你的成長省不少冤枉路。

以下,便是你在人生中要好好記住的事:

(一)對你不好的人,你不要太介意,在你一生中,沒有人有義務要對你好,除了我和你媽媽。至於那些對你好的人,你除了要珍惜、感恩外,也請多防備一點,因為,每個人做每件事,總有一個原因,他對你好,未必真的是因為喜歡你,請你務必搞清楚,而不必太快將對方看作真朋友。

(二)沒有人是不可代替,沒有東西是必須擁有。看透了這一點,將來你身邊的人不再要你,或許失去了世間上最愛的一切時,也應該明白,這並不是什麼大不了的事。

(三)生命是短暫的,今日你還在浪費著生命,明日會發覺生命已遠離你了。因此,愈早珍惜生命,你享受生命的日子也愈多,與其盼望長壽,倒不如早點享受。

(四)世界上並沒有最愛這回事,愛情只是一種霎時的感覺,而這感覺絕對會隨時日、心境而改變。如果你所謂的最愛離開你,請耐心地等候一下,讓時日慢慢沖洗,讓心靈慢慢沉澱,你的苦就會慢慢淡化。不要過分憧憬愛情的美,不要過分誇大失戀的悲。

(五)雖然很多有成就的人士都沒有受過很多教育,但並不等於不用功讀書,就一定可以成功。你學到的知識,就是你擁有的武器,可以白手興家,但不可手無寸鐵,謹記!

(六)我不會要求你供養我下半輩子,同樣地,我也不會供養你的下半輩子,當你長大可以獨立時,我的責任已經完結。以後,你要坐巴士還是賓士,吃魚翅還是粉絲,都要自己負責。

(七)你可以要求自己守信,但不能要求別人守信,你可以要求自己對人好,但不能期待人家對你好。你怎樣對人,並不代表人家就會怎樣對你,如果看不透這一點,你只會徒增不必要的煩惱。

(八)我買了十多二十年的六合彩,還是一窮二白,連三獎也沒有中,這證明人要發達,還是要努力工作才可以,世界上沒有免費午餐。

(九)親人只有一次的緣分,無論這輩子我和你會相處多久,都請好好珍惜共聚的時光,下輩子,無論愛與不愛,都不會再見。

Monday, February 27, 2012

Get Angry?

When Tempers Flare

Do you lose your temper and wonder why? Are there days when you feel like you just wake up angry?

Some of it may be the changes your body's going through: All those hormones you hear so much about can cause mood swings and confused emotions. Some of it may be stress: People who are under a lot of pressure tend to get angry more easily. Part of it may be your personality: You may be someone who feels your emotions intensely or tends to act impulsively or lose control. And part of it may be your role models: Maybe you've seen other people in your family blow a fuse when they're mad.

No matter what pushes your buttons, one thing is certain — you're sure to get angry sometimes. Everyone does. Anger is a normal emotion, and there's nothing wrong with feeling mad. What counts is how we handle it (and ourselves) when we're angry.

Tools to Tame a Temper: Self-Awareness and Self-Control

Because anger can be powerful, managing it is sometimes challenging. It takes plenty of self-awareness and self-control to manage angry feelings. And these skills take time to develop.

Self-awareness is the ability to notice what you're feeling and thinking, and why. Little kids aren't very aware of what they feel, they just act it out in their behavior. That's why you see them having tantrums when they're mad. But teens have the mental ability to be self-aware. When you get angry, take a moment to notice what you're feeling and thinking.

Self-control is all about thinking before you act. It puts some precious seconds or minutes between feeling a strong emotion and taking an action you'll regret.

Together, self-awareness and self-control allow you to have more choice about how to act when you're feeling an intense emotion like anger.


Getting Ready to Make a Change

Deciding to get control of your anger — rather than letting it control you — means taking a good hard look at the ways you've been reacting when you get mad. Do you tend to yell and scream or say hurtful, mean, disrespectful things? Do you throw things, kick or punch walls, break stuff? Hit someone, hurt yourself, or push and shove others around?

For most people who have trouble harnessing a hot temper, reacting like this is not what they want. They feel ashamed by their behavior and don't think it reflects the real them, their best selves.

Everyone can change — but only when they want to. If you want to make a big change in how you're handling your anger, think about what you'll gain from that change. More self-respect? More respect from other people? Less time feeling annoyed and frustrated? A more relaxed approach to life? Remembering why you want to make the change can help.

It can also help to remind yourself that making a change takes time, practice, and patience. It won't happen all at once. Managing anger is about developing new skills and new responses. As with any skill, like playing basketball or learning the piano, it helps to practice over and over again.


The Five-Step Approach to Managing Anger

If something happens that makes you feel angry, this approach can help you manage your reaction. It's called a problem-solving approach because you start with the problem you're mad about. Then you weigh your choices and decide what you'll do.

Each step involves asking yourself a couple of questions, then answering them based on your particular situation.

Let's take this example: There's a party you're planning to go to, but your mom just told you to clean your room or stay home. The red-hot anger starts building.

Here's what to do:

1) Identify the problem (self-awareness). Start by noticing what you're angry about and why. Put into words what's making you upset so you can act rather than react.

Ask yourself: What's got me angry? What am I feeling and why? You can do this either in your mind or out loud, but it needs to be clear and specific. For example: "I'm really angry at Mom because she won't let me go to the party until I clean my room. It's not fair!" Your feeling is anger, and you're feeling angry because you might not get to go to the party.

Notice that this is not the same as saying, "Mom's so unfair to me." That statement doesn't identify the specific problem (that you can't go to the party until you clean your room) and it doesn't say how you're feeling (angry).

2) Think of potential solutions before responding (self-control). This is where you stop for a minute to give yourself time to manage your anger. It's also where you start thinking of how you might react — but without reacting yet.

Ask yourself: What can I do? Think of at least three things. For example, in this situation you might think:

(a) I could yell at Mom and throw a fit.
(b) I could clean my room and then ask if I could go to the party.
(c) I could sneak out to the party anyway.

3) Consider the consequences of each solution (think it through). This is where you think about what is likely to result from each of the different reactions you came up with.

Ask yourself: What will happen for each one of these options? For example:

(a) Yelling at your mom may get you in worse trouble or even grounded.
(b) Cleaning your room takes work and you may get to the party late (but maybe that adds to your mystique). With this option, you get to go to the party and your room's clean so you don't have to worry about it for a while.
(c) Sneaking out may seem like a real option in the heat of anger. But when you really think it through, it's pretty unlikely you'd get away with being gone for hours with no one noticing. And when you do get caught — look out!

4) Make a decision (pick one of your options). This is where you take action by choosing one of the three things you could do. Look at the list and pick the one that is likely to be most effective.

Ask yourself: What's my best choice? By the time you've thought it through, you're probably past yelling at your mom, which is a knee-jerk response. You may have also decided that sneaking out is too risky. Neither of these options is likely to get you to the party. So option (b) probably seems like the best choice.

Once you choose your solution, then it's time to act.

5) Check your progress. After you've acted and the situation is over, spend some time thinking about how it went.

Ask yourself: How did I do? Did things work out as I expected? If not, why not? Am I satisfied with the choice I made? Taking some time to reflect on how things worked out after it's all over is a very important step. It helps you learn about yourself and it allows you to test which problem-solving approaches work best in different situations.

Give yourself a pat on the back if the solution you chose worked out well. If it didn't, go back through the five steps and see if you can figure out why.

These five steps are pretty simple when you're calm, but are much tougher to work through when you're angry or sad (kind of like in basketball practice when making baskets is much easier than in a real game when the pressure is on!). So it helps to practice over and over again.


Other Ways to Manage Anger

The five-step approach is good when you're in a particular situation that's got you mad and you need to decide what action to take. But other things can help you manage anger too.

Try these things even if you're not mad right now to help prevent angry feelings from building up inside.

  • Exercise. Go for a walk/run, work out, or go play a sport. Lots of research has shown that exercise is a great way to improve your mood and decrease negative feelings.
  • Listen to music (with your headphones on). Music has also been shown to change a person's mood pretty quickly. And if you dance, then you're exercising and it's a two-for-one.
  • Write down your thoughts and emotions. You can write things in lots of ways; for example, in a journal or as your own poetry or song lyrics. After you've written it down, you can keep it or throw it away — it doesn't matter. The important thing is, writing down your thoughts and feelings can improve how you feel. When you notice, label, and release feelings as they show up in smaller portions, they don't have a chance to build up inside.
  • Draw. Scribbling, doodling, or sketching your thoughts or feelings might help too.
  • Meditate or practice deep breathing. This one works best if you do it regularly, as it's more of an overall stress management technique that can help you use self-control when you're mad. If you do this regularly, you'll find that anger is less likely to build up.
  • Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Lots of times there are other emotions, such as fear or sadness, beneath anger. Talking about them can help.
  • Distract yourself. If you find yourself stewing about something and just can't seem to let go, it can help to do something that will get your mind past what's bugging you — watch TV, read, or go to the movies.

These ideas can be helpful for two reasons:

  1. They help you cool down when you feel like your anger might explode. When you need to cool down, do one or more of the activities in the list above. Think of these as alternatives to taking an action you'll regret, such as yelling at someone. Some of them, like writing down feelings, can help you release tension and begin the thinking process at the same time.
  2. They help you manage anger in general. What if there's no immediate problem to solve — you simply need to shift into a better mood? Sometimes when you're angry, you just need to stop dwelling on how mad you are.

When to Ask for Extra Help

Sometimes anger is a sign that more is going on. People who have frequent trouble with anger, who get in fights or arguments, who get punished, who have life situations that give them reason to often be angry may need special help to get a problem with anger under control.

Tell your parents, a teacher, a counselor, or another adult you trust if any of these things have been happening:

  • You have a lasting feeling of anger over things that have either happened to you in the past or are going on now.
  • You feel irritable, grumpy, or in a bad mood more often than not.
  • You feel consistent anger or rage at yourself.
  • You feel anger that lasts for days or makes you want to hurt yourself or someone else.
  • You're often getting into fights or arguments.

These could be signs of depression or something else — and you shouldn't have to handle that alone.

Anger is a strong emotion. It can feel overwhelming at times. Learning how to deal with strong emotions — without losing control — is part of becoming more mature. It takes a little effort, a little practice, and a little patience, but you can get there if you want to.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: September 2010
Originally reviewed by: Matthew K. Nock, PhD

Friday, December 30, 2011

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself


When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.


As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2.Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3.Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

4.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6.Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7.Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8.Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9.Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11.Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13.Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15.Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16.Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17.Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18.Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19.Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20.Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21.Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22.Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23.Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25.Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26.Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27.Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28.Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29.Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30.Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Apple (蘋果) CEO Steve Jobs (賈伯斯) 的三個故事

Apple (蘋果) CEO Steve Jobs (賈伯斯) : 我只說三個故事,不談大道理,三個故事就好..

今天,
很榮幸來到各位從世界上最好的學校之一畢業的畢業典禮上。
我從來沒從大學畢業過,說實話,這是我離大學畢業最近的一刻。

今天,我只說三個故事,不談大道理,三個故事就好。


第一個故事,

是關於人生中的點點滴滴如何串連在一起。

我在里德學院(Reed College)待了六個月就辦休學了。
到我退學前,一共休學了十八個月。那麼,我為什麼休學?

(聽眾笑)這得從我出生前講起。

我的親生母親當時是個研究生,
年輕未婚媽媽,她決定讓別人收養我..

她強烈覺得應該讓有大學畢業的人收養我,
所以我出生時,她就準備讓我被一對律師夫婦收養。
但是這對夫妻到了最後一刻反悔了,他們想收養女孩。

所以在等待收養名單上的一對夫妻,我的養父母,
在一天半夜裡接到一通電話, 問他們
「有一名意外出生的男孩,你們要認養他嗎?」
而他們的回答是「當然要」。

後來,我的生母發現,我現在的媽媽從來沒有大學畢業,
我現在的爸爸則連高中畢業也沒有。
她拒絕在認養文件上做最後簽字。直到幾個月後,
我的養父母保證將來一定會讓我上大學,她的態度才軟化。

十七年後,我上大學了。但是當時我無知地選了一所
學費幾乎跟史丹佛一樣貴的大學(聽眾笑),
我那工人階級的父母將所有積蓄都花在我的學費上。

六個月後,我看不出唸這個書的價值何在。那時候,
我不知道這輩子要幹什麼,也不知道唸大學能對我有什麼幫助,
只知道我為了唸這個書,花光了我父母這輩子的所有積蓄。
所以,我決定休學,相信船到橋頭自然直。

當時這個決定看來相當可怕,可是現在看來,
那是我這輩子做過最好的決定之一。(聽眾笑)

當我休學之後,我再也不用上我沒興趣的必修課,
把時間拿去聽那些我有興趣的課。這一點也不浪漫。

我沒有宿舍,所以我睡在友人家裡的地板上,
靠著回收可樂空罐的退費五分錢買吃的。
每個星期天晚上得走七哩的路,
繞過大半個鎮 去印度教的 Hare Krishna 神廟吃頓好料,
我喜歡 Hare Krishna 神廟的好料。

就這樣追隨我的好奇與直覺,大部分我所投入過的事務,
後來看來都成了無比珍貴的經歷
(And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on )。

舉個例來說。當時里德學院有著大概是全國最好的書寫教育。
校園內的每一張海報上,每個抽屜的標籤上,都是美麗的手寫字。

因為我休學了,可以不照正常選課程序來,
所以我跑去上書寫課。 我學了 serif 與 sanserif 字體,
學到在不同字母組合間變更字間距,學到活字印刷偉大的地方。

書寫的美好、歷史感與藝術感是科學所無法掌握的,
我覺得這很迷人。

我沒預期過學這些東西能在我生活中起些什麼實際作用,
不過十年後,當我在設計第一台麥金塔時,

我想起了當時所學的東西,所以把這些東西
都設計進了麥金塔裡,這是第一台能印刷出漂亮東西的電腦。

如果我沒沉溺於那樣一門課裡,
麥金塔可能就不會有多重字體跟等比例間距字體了。

又因為 Windows抄襲了麥金塔的使用方式(聽眾鼓掌大笑)。
因此,如果當年我沒有休學,沒有去上那門書寫課,
大概所有的個人電腦都不會有這些東西,
印不出現在我們看到的漂亮的字來了。

當然,當我還在大學裡時,
不可能把這些點點滴滴預先串連在一起,
但在十年後的今天回顧,一切就顯得非常清楚。

我再說一次,
你無法預先把點點滴滴串連起來,
只有在未來回顧時,
你才會明白那些點點滴滴是如何串在一起的
(you can't connect the dots look-ing forward;
you can only connect them looking backwards )。

所以你得相信,眼前你經歷的種種,將來多少會連結在一起。
你得信任某個東西,直覺也好, 命運也好,生命也好,或者業力。

這種作法從來沒讓我失望,
我的人生因此變得完全不同。( Jobs停下來喝水)

____________________________________________________

我的第二個故事,是有關愛與失去。

我很幸運-年輕時就發現自己愛做什麼事。我二十歲時,
跟 Steve Wozniak在我爸媽的車庫裡開始了蘋果電腦的事業。

我們拚命工作,
蘋果電腦在十年間從一間車庫裡的兩個小夥子擴展 !
成了一家員工超過四千人、市價二十億美金的公司。
在那事件之前一年推出了我們最棒的作品-
麥金塔電腦( Macintosh),那時我才剛邁入三十歲;
然後,我被解僱了。

我怎麼會被自己創辦的公司給解僱了?(聽眾笑)

嗯,當蘋果電腦成長後,
我請了一個我以為在經營公司上很有才幹的傢伙來,
他在頭幾年也確實幹得不錯。
可是我們對未來的願景不同,最後只好分道揚鑣,
董事會站在他那邊,就這樣在我 30歲的時候,公開把我給解僱了。

我失去了整個生活的重心,我的人生就這樣被摧毀。

有幾個月,我不知道要做些什麼。
我覺得我令企業界的前輩們失望-
我把他們交給我的接力棒弄丟了。

我見了創辦 HP的 David Packard跟創辦Intel的 Bob Noyce,
跟他們說很抱歉我把事情給搞砸了。
我成了公眾眼中失敗的示範,我甚至想要離開矽谷。

但是漸漸的,我發現,我還是喜愛那些我做過的事情,
在蘋果電腦中經歷那些事絲毫沒有改變我愛做的事。

雖然我被否定了,可是我還是愛做那些事情,
所以我決定從頭來過。 當時我沒發現,
但現在看來,被蘋果電腦開除,是我所經歷過最好的事情。

成功的沉重被從頭來過的輕鬆所取代,
每件事情都不那麼確定,讓我自由進入這輩子最有創意的年代。

接下來五年,我開了一家叫做 NeXT 的公司,
又開一家叫做 Pixar 的公司,
也跟後來的老婆(Laurene)談起了戀愛。

Pixar接著製作了世界上第一部全電腦動畫電影,
玩具總動員(Toy Story),
現在是世界上最成功的動畫製作公司(聽眾鼓掌大笑)。

然後,蘋果電腦買下了 NeXT,我回到了蘋果,
我們在 NeXT發展的技術成了蘋果電腦後來復興的核心部份。
我也有了個美妙的家庭。
我很確定,如果當年蘋果電腦沒開除我,就不會發生這些事情。

這帖藥很苦口,可是我想蘋果電腦這個病人需要這帖藥。
有時候,人生會用磚頭打你的頭。不要喪失信心。

我確信我愛我所做的事情,
這就是這些年來支持我繼續走下去的唯一理由
(I'm convinced that the only thing
that kept me going was thatI loved what I did)。

你得找出你的最愛,
工作上是如此,人生伴侶也是如此。

你的工作將佔掉你人生的一大部分,
唯一真正獲得滿足的方法就是做你相信是偉大的工作,
而唯一做偉大工作的方法是 愛你所做的事
( And the only way to do great work is
to love what you do )。

如果你還沒找到這些事,繼續找,別停頓。盡你全心全力,
你知道你一定會找到。而且,如同任何偉大的事業,
事情只會隨著時間愈來愈好。所以,
在你找到之前,繼續找,別停頓。(聽眾鼓掌, Jobs喝水)

____________________________________________________

我的第三個故事,是關於死亡。

當我十七歲時,我讀到一則格言,
好像是
「把每一天都當成生命中的最後一天,你就會輕鬆自在。
( If you live each day as if it was your last,
someday you'll most certainly be right )」(聽眾笑)

這對我影響深遠, 在過去 33 年裡,我每天早上都會照鏡子,
自問:「如果今天是此生最後一日,我今天要做些什麼?」

每當我連續太多天都得到一個「沒事做」的答案時,
我就知道我必須有所改變了。 提醒自己快死了,
是我在人生中面臨重大決定時,所用過最重要的方法。

因為幾乎每件事-所有外界期望、所有的名聲、
所有對困窘或失敗的恐懼-在面對死亡時,都消失了,
只有最真實重要的東西才會留下
( Remember-ing that I'll be dead soon
is the most important tool I've ever encountered
to help me make the big choices in life.
Because almost everything - all external expectations,
all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -
these things just fall away in the face of death,
leaving only what is truly important )。

提醒自己快死了,
是我所知避免掉入畏懼失去的陷阱裡最好的方法。
人生不帶來、死不帶去,沒理由不能順心而為。

一年前,我被診斷出癌症。我在早上七點半作斷層掃瞄,
在胰臟清楚出現一個腫瘤,我連胰臟是什麼都不知道。
醫生告訴我,那幾乎可以確定是一種不治之症,
預計我大概活不到三到六個月了。

醫生建議我回家,好好跟親人們聚一聚,
這是醫生對臨終病人的標準建議。
那代表你得試著在幾個月內把你將來十年想跟小孩講的話講完。
那代表你得把每件事情搞定,家人才會儘量輕鬆。
那代表你得跟人說再見了。

我整天想著那個診斷結果,那天晚上做了一次切片,
從喉嚨伸入一個內視鏡,穿過胃進到腸子,將探針伸進胰臟,
取了一些腫瘤細胞出來。

我打了鎮靜劑,不醒人事,但是我老婆在場。她後來跟我說,
當醫生們用顯微鏡看過那些細胞後,他們都哭了,
因為那是非常少見的一種胰臟癌,可以用手術治好。
所以我接受了手術,康復了。(聽眾鼓掌)

這是我最接近死亡的時候,我希望那會繼續是未來幾十年內
最接近的一次。

經歷此事後,我可以比先前死亡只是純粹想像時,
要能更肯定地告訴你們下面這些:
沒有人想死。即使那些想上天堂的人,也想活著上天堂。
(聽眾笑)

但是死亡是我們共同的終點,沒有人逃得過。
這是註定的,因為死亡很可能就是生命中最棒的發明,
是生命交替的媒介,送走老人們,給新生代開出道路。

現在你們是新生代,但是不久的將來,你們也會逐漸變老,
被送出人生的舞台。抱歉講得這麼戲劇化,但是這是真的。

你們的時間有限,所以不要浪費時間活在別人的生活裡。

不要被教條所侷限-- 盲從教條就是活在別人思考結果裡。

不要讓別人的意見淹沒了你內在的心聲。
最重要的,擁有追隨自己內心與直覺的勇氣,
你的內心與直覺多少已經知道你真正想要成為什麼樣的人
(have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know
what you truly want to become),
任何其他事物都是次要的。(聽眾鼓掌)

在我年輕時,有本神奇的雜誌叫做 《Whole Earth Catalog》,
當年這可是我們的經典讀物。
那是位住在離這不遠的 Menlo Park 的 Stewart Brand發行的,
他把雜誌辦得很有詩意。

那是 1960年代末期,個人電腦跟桌上出版還沒出現,
所有內容都是打字機、剪刀跟拍立得相機做出來的。
雜誌內容有點像印在紙上的平面 Google,
在Google 出現之前35年就有了:
這本雜誌很理想主義,充滿新奇工具與偉的見解。

Stewart 跟他的團隊出版了好幾期的《Whole Earth Catalog》,
然後很自然的,最後出了停刊號。當時是 1970 年代中期,
我正是你們現在這個年齡的時候。在停刊號的封底,
有張清晨鄉間小路的照片,
那種你四處搭便車冒險旅行時會經過的鄉間小路。
在照片下印了行小字:

求知若飢,虛心若愚
(Stay Hungry , Stay Foolish)。

那是他們親筆寫下的告別訊息,我總是以此自許。
當你們畢業,展開新生活,我也以此祝福你們。



過去 Past Time - 賈伯斯 Steve Jobs



現在 Now - 賈伯斯 Steve Jobs

____________________________________________________

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

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